Disqualified by Desire

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

In seeking to follow and serve God, we must always be seeking to know what God wants us to do, and not what we want to do for God. This is similar to my last post - that having the desire to do something for God, and feeling qualified to do it (meaning that I feel qualified in my strength to do the thing) disqualifies me somewhat from being able to serve God in that way. If I feel qualified to do something, I tend to seek to do that thing in my own strength - having pride to be able to serve God in that way. In doing this I take my view off God and place it on myself, removing myself from the place where I can hear God and his leading. (And I see this in my life - those areas where I feel the most qualified, I feel God in the least, since 'I don't need Him there'.)

I may plan to do great things, to use my talents and abilities to reach people for Jesus, but God cannot work through that - he can work best through my weaknesses. A few examples:

I am a member of the worship band in my church, and have been doing this for about 9 years or so. I am not the best musician, but able to do my part. When I started, though, I came in with certainty of my ability, and a leading from God that this was what I should do. I was quickly humbled - brought to see that I needed to learn much in order to be a part of this group of musicians. I brought all that I had (little) as an offering - allowing God to work through my uncertainty and weakness. When I have been the least confident of being able to play a song, is when I am most able to feel God there with me, and His pleasure. Now, as I have more practice under my belt, I have to admit that I don't feel the same closeness during worship that I did at first.

At one time I lead a small group in the church - a group of families and people who met in our house for bible study and prayer. This is something that I did not feel capable of doing when first asked. I did agree to lead (eventually), knowing that I would have to lean on God to accomplish anything in the group - I didn't feel qualified to lead a study and teach others, I really don't like to pray, and generally am not someone who is energized in groups and discussions. However, during the two years that I led the group we managed to grow in size, and to develop good relationships and I think grow closer to God. That was God's doing - I only followed Him, and allowed Him to do work in the group. If I had felt qualified however, and didn't lean on God and wait to hear from Jim, and let Him speak through me, I'm sure that the group would not have lasted even one year.

I cannot stay out of sin on my own power. What I can do, however, is keep myself close to Jesus, where I can clearly hear Him speaking to me, and to be so captivated by that presence that nothing else can tempt me. If only I could do that - to hear so clearly!!! That closeness of relationship with Christ, where I seek only Him, is something that I do desire so much, and which is truly a desire granted from God.

Now, if only we could apply these principles to politics - that any person who wants the job of President of the US should immediately be disqualified from running for the office. I am a bit bothered that we never seem to get the best person for the job (looking at it even with one of the parties - John McCain is not the best Republican for the office) - only the most electable, the best of those that are willing to run.