Disqualified by Desire

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

In seeking to follow and serve God, we must always be seeking to know what God wants us to do, and not what we want to do for God. This is similar to my last post - that having the desire to do something for God, and feeling qualified to do it (meaning that I feel qualified in my strength to do the thing) disqualifies me somewhat from being able to serve God in that way. If I feel qualified to do something, I tend to seek to do that thing in my own strength - having pride to be able to serve God in that way. In doing this I take my view off God and place it on myself, removing myself from the place where I can hear God and his leading. (And I see this in my life - those areas where I feel the most qualified, I feel God in the least, since 'I don't need Him there'.)

I may plan to do great things, to use my talents and abilities to reach people for Jesus, but God cannot work through that - he can work best through my weaknesses. A few examples:

I am a member of the worship band in my church, and have been doing this for about 9 years or so. I am not the best musician, but able to do my part. When I started, though, I came in with certainty of my ability, and a leading from God that this was what I should do. I was quickly humbled - brought to see that I needed to learn much in order to be a part of this group of musicians. I brought all that I had (little) as an offering - allowing God to work through my uncertainty and weakness. When I have been the least confident of being able to play a song, is when I am most able to feel God there with me, and His pleasure. Now, as I have more practice under my belt, I have to admit that I don't feel the same closeness during worship that I did at first.

At one time I lead a small group in the church - a group of families and people who met in our house for bible study and prayer. This is something that I did not feel capable of doing when first asked. I did agree to lead (eventually), knowing that I would have to lean on God to accomplish anything in the group - I didn't feel qualified to lead a study and teach others, I really don't like to pray, and generally am not someone who is energized in groups and discussions. However, during the two years that I led the group we managed to grow in size, and to develop good relationships and I think grow closer to God. That was God's doing - I only followed Him, and allowed Him to do work in the group. If I had felt qualified however, and didn't lean on God and wait to hear from Jim, and let Him speak through me, I'm sure that the group would not have lasted even one year.

I cannot stay out of sin on my own power. What I can do, however, is keep myself close to Jesus, where I can clearly hear Him speaking to me, and to be so captivated by that presence that nothing else can tempt me. If only I could do that - to hear so clearly!!! That closeness of relationship with Christ, where I seek only Him, is something that I do desire so much, and which is truly a desire granted from God.

Now, if only we could apply these principles to politics - that any person who wants the job of President of the US should immediately be disqualified from running for the office. I am a bit bothered that we never seem to get the best person for the job (looking at it even with one of the parties - John McCain is not the best Republican for the office) - only the most electable, the best of those that are willing to run.

Does Religion == Stupid?

So, going through my news this morning I find this post on The Register : "God makes you stupid, researchers claim". The basic premise of the research is a 'casual' link that intelligent people are less likely to believe in God (or that less intelligent people are more likely to believe in God). This is based on the low percentage of academics who believe in God.

I have to say that, as a born-again Christian, I have some problems with this. I feel that I qualify as an intelligent person - Masters degree in engineering, successful career, multiple patents to my name - not exactly a poor half-wit seeking solace in religion. The question that I bring up is whether or not the study which is referenced actually is drawing out the right conclusion about the cause of the link. I will admit that few people in academia (university settings) seem to profess a believe in God (or any other supreme being - pick your religion...) - and that those who do have religious beliefs seem to be looked down on (see Expelled as a case that religious seeming thoughts are not tolerated very well). But, is it really that case that religion is only satisfying to those who are less intelligent - that smarter people are able to see beyond the 'mumbo-jumbo' and think for themselves?

Looking from the other side of the fence - as an intelligent person who firmly believes in God and Jesus Christ as my Savior - I see something different underlying the link. Intelligent people, especially the people who are in Academia, tend to rely more on their own abilities to solve problems and see through. They become proud of their intelligence and self-reliance - they do not need other people, and especially do not need God. Jesus said in John 6:44 - "No one can come to be unless the Father who sent me draws him" - that only through the work of God can we understand and see the wonder of Him. In John 6:65 Jesus says "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him".

Maybe it is rather that the more intelligent people, those who are proud in their abilities and have no need of God, have so offended God that he does not enable them to see Him? Their sinful pride blocks their ability to truly experience God - just as the Pharisees were blocked from truly seeing God (and his Son). When we are self-reliant, God has no place in our lives, and is not able to work through us - he leaves us alone. That is a true tragedy, for there will come a day when God will judge all men, and those who know him (and his Son) not will suffer in eternity.

Don't take this as another rant from a religious nut-case, as I said (and hopefully you'll see in later posts) I consider myself quite intelligent - an engineer familiar with how things in this world work. This intelligence, with God's enablement, allowed me to see the emptiness in a humanistic view of the world, a world without God, where we are only the by-product of primordial ooze. While in a place of doubting what the world has to offer, and my own value, I was introduced to the living Christ, and met Him truly. I attend a church which has many Mensa members and professors in attendance - surely we are not deluded into religion, but have entered into it with careful consideration, seeking a relationship with a living Person, and not just solace or an explanation for things we cannot understand.

The moral is to be careful of the assumptions that are placed onto research. Even if a connection between two things can be proven, the cause of the connection may not be what you expect. Here, maybe the intelligence isn't the source of the connection, but the pride associated with it.

In the beginning

OK - not such a great and creative title, but this is the first post, isn't it? What else should I call the first post? And anyway, I'm only promising shallow thoughts - not quite up to the '42' standard that Deep Thought could answer, maybe only 40... I'm not claiming to be an all-knowing, have all the answers to the worlds problems, and this blog isn't going to solve anybodys problems. I'm just looking for a place to share some of my views and thoughts on the world. Expect things to be pretty eclectic and all over the place.

Why a Troll? This comes from what might be a misrepresentation of the translation of my last name - which can be translated as bridgetender. Thinking of the troll in the 3 billy-goats-gruff story as a bridgetender leads to the thought that I can call myself a troll.

Lets see where we go next, shall we?