How's it going?

A few very quick notes on the move, and the new job. Things are going pretty well here so far. I have started work at General Dynamics, and while I have a lot of learning to do (being a completely new and different problem domain for me) there are a lot of things that actually are similar to solutions that I used before - different problem but a similar way to solve it - so I am getting to know what's going on. Working for a defense contractor, security is definitely handled differently than what I had at my previous position. The requirement that employees also be US citizens also changes the demographics of the workplace quite a lot - there are not a lot of immigrants to be seen.

We're working through a stomach bug right now (or its working through us?). I spent about half of the weekend in bed, and am still not completely over it - food isn't as appealing right now, but I can at least eat. Not the best start to things - work for a week and then get sick!

On the home front, we're in a 3-bedroom apartment right now (furnished) and we are scheduled to close on our house May 20 - 2 weeks away. There doesn't seem to be anything holding up the closing right now, I just need to provide a pay stub to the mortgage company (but I don't get my first paycheck until May 14). We can take multiple trips to move the stuff we have here over to the new house, unlike the move down here, so that can be a bit more relaxed. We had a pretty uneventful drive down here, all the pets survived and all the kids (though sometimes the kids were in danger as we ate in restaurants). We took it easy, stopping along the way to see some of the sights. We did stop at an actual 'Route 66' era diner in New Mexico for lunch one day, which was kinda cool, even if they weren't trying to stay in the '50s character. I think that knowing that we were at a diner which has just kept doing the same thing was more satisfying than a touristy 'Route 66' experience would be.

That's all for now. My main reason for not posting sooner really was that I've been going to bed early the last few nights as I'm working to recover - not even playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook...

Almost time

Tomorrow the movers come to start packing up our stuff, they load the van on Friday. We stick around this weekend, then start driving on Monday. We'll be in an apartment for 30 days in Scottsdale, then close on our house May 20 and we'll be able to settle in.

For those interested we have the following things to do:
Wed-Thurs-Fri - Supervise the packing and loading, making sure that key items we need don't get loaded on the truck. This may involve putting them into the van/car or in a neighbors garage.
Wed - take the love seat out to the curb for the garbage men to take away. I've had this 18 years, but the frame is broken and springs are sprung, so it can't be given away.
We have given away a lot of stuff that we don't need, using Freecycle (freecycle.org) to find takers.

Friday evening we meet with some neighbors to say goodbye.
Saturday we have a memorial service for Kris's Grandmother.
Sunday is a Gymnastics meet.

Then, we start driving:
Monday - Grayslake to St. Louis, MO with a visit to the gateway arch.
Tuesday - St. Louis to Tulsa, OK, with a planned stop at Wilson's battlefield
Wednesday - Tulsa to Amarillo, TX
Thursday - Amarillo to Gallup, NM - the longest drive of the trip at 418 miles
Friday - Gallup to Scottsdale and our apartment, the shortest day of the trip

Then, a weekend to get settled and I start work on Monday April 27. That will be an adjustment, I've been working a lot on the house for almost 3 months, so getting back into software might take a little bit.

Hearing from God

1 Kings 19:11-13 (New International Version)

¹¹ The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. ¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

God's voice can be hard to hear sometimes over the noise of the world around us. What He speaks can be bent by others, and by our own interpretation. What seems powerful and urgent is not always the word of God.

Isaiah 30:21 (New International Version)

²¹ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

If you've read my previous blog, you know that I am wrestling to hear clearly and follow God's will for me and my family. In particular, I have been praying that God clearly illuminates where I am to go work, by shutting down or making all other possibilities unattractive. I have also been praying for his clear revelation, that somebody would essentially come up to me and say "God wants you to work in xxx".

This morning as I was praying I feel that it was revealed that (a) I'm asking for the wrong revelation and (b) I'm listening to the wrong thing. I'll explain (b) first.

There have been two sets of input that we (Kris and I) have received in regards to my job situation. The first is from people who are aware of what is going on and are praying for us, or generally trying to offer advice. Whether godly people or not, we seem to get more negative input from this group - that the path we are looking at is not the right path. Much of this is based on emotion - fear for our safety, grief at the loss of friends moving away, desire to have us closer to family members. All of this input, while not unbiblical, does not seem to consider what God might have planned. I call these 'the word of the world'.

The second set of input has been from people who don't know the details of what we are evaluating, yet are delivering words which are divinely inspired. This includes words which Kris and I may receive ourselves during our prayer and devotional time (these coming directly from the Holy Spirit). [I'll apologize to those who do not have a close personal relationship with Jesus - this may seem like a lot of spiritual mumbo-jumbo, but it is very real to us - we can certainly talk with you in detail about why and how we believe that Jesus is real, alive and helps us.] These words all seem to be leading positively towards the path we see before us. I say seem because we do have to interpret the words we receive. It is possible that we are missing the interpretation - however, there are a number of different things we've heard from different sources, individually, that all together point in the path we see. Any of these individually could be interpreted to go somewhere else, but together it is difficult to see God saying anything but what is before us. We feel that we have the working of God as described in the passage from Isaiah above - when we look back on the promises of God, and his guiding words, we can see that we are on the right path. These are the 'words of God'.

I also said I was asking for the wrong revelation. I was asking to see where God wants us to be. The right question is to ask where God is working, and how He wants me to join. One of the things that we realized yesterday is that due to some aspects of the current economic situation, we may well be able to afford a much nicer home than we have now - in particular in a more upscale neighborhood. Looking at this from God's view, there is a known tendency for people who are well off to be self-reliant, they feel they don't need God. We currently live in a good, vibrant community, with many neighbors who profess Jesus as their Savior (not all do, but many). This I feel to be a spiritually safe place (maybe also because of the two churchs across the street...). By moving to a new neighborhood which does not respect the need for God, we move to a spiritually darker place, someplace that while it may be physically safe is not spiritually safe. One thing that I heard this week in a sermon was that if you feel that you are safe, then you aren't doing God's work. We need to be out in the world, so that people can see and learn to know Jesus. One way is to be in a place of people who are hurting economically and need to know good news of the eternal provision which is available for them.

So, the more we compare notes and interpret what each other has received, the more alignment we see in one direction - that we will be moving, and this will be difficult for us and our families - but there is some immediate good we can see, as well as some long-term possibilities.

We don't have a date just yet - I have been told by HR that an offer is being prepared, and they are trying to get the right management in the office to approve that, and then I will learn of whether this is the path God has for us or if he has been testing my discernment...

What to do...

So, I'm at a bit of a crossroads spiritually and emotionally. I've had one good interview in my job search, but its a bit further away from my extended family. I have a lot of pressure from some of my extended family to seek a position in Minnesota, but haven't really made much headway in getting somebody to look at my resume yet... I'm trying to see if God's will for me to stay here (in Chicago) last year is still His will, or if I am to do His work elsewhere. I'm resting in a fog of doubt and uncertainty, pondering what might be and probably getting ahead of myself with wishful thinking...

Part of the problem is dissociating my desires and will from what God wants me to do. I have a craving for new things and variety - a big move to a new company, doing new projects in a new house is certainly going to provide a big dose of change and variety. So, first off is to figure out if I'm leaving the Chicago area for greener (or snowier) pastures. God called me to stay here last year, to to take a position in the leadership of our Church. I want to be very certain that I am following His will if I leave here. This hasn't been clear to me so far - nobody has stood up and told me 'God says Go West young man!'. This may be a test of my discernment...

Another part is making sure that I go through this with the right motives, again following where God would have me to be. I don't want to follow the money, or feel that I need to provide for my family (immediate or extended) - but I need to trust in God's provision. Certainly it will be easy if when I get an offer it is such an obvious low-ball offer that its clear that I can't take that position, but what if it isn't? I've been praying for God to make clear to me what the position is that I should take, that he closes down all other options. I've already had one phone interview end quickly because it was apparent that while I filled the role, there wasn't going to be an acceptable offer forthcoming. Where I start getting my self mired in uncertainty is by following this line of thought:

What if I get an offer that is acceptable, but still haven't heard from God to verify this?
What if there is something better coming up, and though this seems good it is really a 'closed door'?
Can I make the right decision on something that is acceptable to me, or will my excitement drown out the holy spirit warning me about a position?

I can't prove a positive outcome - the negative is easy (no offer, bad role, not a fit). Something that isn't negative might not be best - I can only pray for the discernment to know, to see the choir of angels that delivers 'THE' offer to me... ;) Only God can prove the positive (through that hypothetical choir of angels...).

More of the problem is that it's easy to take opportunities that have been presented and work them to a logical conclusion - which of course means getting the dream job that the posting represents. So I've been thinking about how wonderful it would be to live in Phoenix and bike more of the year, how awesome to be in Minnesota with family nearby, how we can sell our current house for a lot, and get a great house cheap (and worked out all the issues of how to finance, move, etc.). It becomes easy to put my interpretation on events and what I do hear from God, blessing each of these options...

I appreciate your ongoing prayers to help me see the path, to have discernment to follow Gods will for my family, to not be swayed by money, or family desires, or fears but to hold true to the eternal provision and be faithful to that.

What's going on?

Hi all - if you've been following things here, you know that my group was suddenly further reduced, including me, so my illustrious career in mobile phone design is more or less over... What am I doing now that I have an extra 40 hours a week?

1) Looking for the next job - already working on that, had a few phone calls already. Ideally, I work out a start date of March 30, which is just after my 'official' last day (60 days notice thing), and would allow me to keep/save/use all of the 26 weeks of severance. Collecting unemployment benefits requires that I do a certain amount of time searching for a new position.

2) Working through some career transition classes. Part of the severance package is 6 months of transition support services - consulting to get my resume in order, interviewing, negotiation help - along with a placement service. So, I start through some of those classes this week and next.

3) Work around the house - there are a lot of projects that haven't been getting done, and now they are. We're figuring that if we have to move (seems likely) we should finish all the things we started. If we don't have to move, then we get a like-new house... :) Some of the things that have to be done:

• Paint the kitchen cabinets
• Fix a big hole in the kitchen wall with a bunch of wires coming out of it (don't know who made that, we found it when the suspended ceiling was removed)
• Paint the kitchen walls
  
• Finish installing baseboards in the master bedroom
• Paint the master bathroom (clean up the mildew first)
• Clean mildew from the master bath shower, and replace some caulk and grout that is loose
• Figure out how to fix the shower once-and-for-all so that it stops leaking
• Fix the big hole in the family room ceiling below the shower drain...
• Fix a big hole in the kids bathroom wall (caused when a sliding door fell off track)
• Paint the kids bathroom
• Paint the upstairs hall
• Touch up some ceiling spots that got wall paint on them in the dining and living rooms
• Paint trim in the master bedroom
• Fix the front door lockset
• Paint the window frames in the basement
• Replace a basement door that was abused by toys (and is a little holey)
• Replace some ceiling tiles in the basement
• lots of paint touch-up in the basement (maybe repaint the basement)
• Finish updating the phone wiring (figure out which wires go to phone jacks that were removed...)
• Paint ceiling on the basement stairs
• Paint celing in the office
• Clean out the fireplace (still ashes in there from the last fire 5 years ago)
  
• etc

You get the picture - plenty of stuff to do. At some point we also need to look into replacing most of the carpet in the house - a lot is +25 years old, and well worn at this point. If we do have to sell, and it doesn't happen when there is snow on the ground, add to the list some major grass renovation work and garden cleanup...

4) Update my coding skills a little bit - it has been a while since I actually wrote software... (vs. telling other people how to write it) Anybody need some programs written?

5) Goof off. We went to the Museum of Science and Industry today - not many people there, which was great. I need another 400,000 points in Lego Star Wars to buy the minikit detector, and find the last minikit I'm missing - then I'll have completed the game.

So, I don't have to worry much about going insane from boredom...

God provides

So, if you've read the previous two days postings you know that my current management doesn't feel that I'm needed anymore. Even though the loss of a job might seems like a big thing, and something that might cause some to doubt God's provision, I can already see how He is working through this, and how He was working even before I knew about my position being reduced:

1) On Thursday morning I had an email in my inbox from a colleague I'd worked with on other projects before, who is in a 'safe' division (one that is still profitable, and likely to stay that way). That group is expanding, and has some openings. So, there is at least one possible opportunity which would cause only a change in my duties, and not in my employment status.

2) Because of the size of the reduction, there is a legal requirement for 60 day notification. Though my last day worked is due to be Jan 30, I remain on the payroll with full benefits (including accruing vacation, which will be paid in April). This accounts to a legally required paid vacation for two months...

3) I have through industry standards activity in the last few years made a number of contacts and references which may be useful. There are people outside of my current group who feel that I am still needed, and are escalating the issue, so my status may be reversed.

While this seems like a nice, rosy set of good provisions, I also have to say that He doesn't always clear up problems in a nice easy package - there may be some lessons He is trying to teach through the experience. I still have the emotional impact to deal with, and still have to take some actions to secure my position. I have to trust Him and listen carefully for how to proceed - to remain in Grayslake (which I felt to be the calling last year) or to take steps I may feel are needed to remain employed, even if that involves moving away. I have to fight through what might be a greedy, world-induced desire to maximize my financial gain (seek work elsewhere and keep the most of the severance package) and see His true path. If no internal opportunity arises, I have to trust in His provision and leadership - that He will provide employment before we run out of money, and to see clearly where we should go or stay and what adjustments may be necessary.

Part of this experience is to remind me not to put trust in anything of the world - but to trust in God for provision. Perhaps we will become missionaries - that is a safe job which will not go away (until Jesus returns at least) - though the pay is much les....

Live blogging from layoff land (2)

It seems that I, and most of the rest of my team, are no longer needed. At least I now know the direction to take, and will likely have some extra free time after Jan. 30 (and as much as I can steal before then).