Shallow thoughts of a Troll

Our role in society

2011-12-01T07:03:00.001-06:00

I haven't posted in a while, somewhat lacking time and things to share (family activities appear on Facebook...). I came across this quote this morning, which struck me as applicable today - the solution to the problems of the world is found only in God's work, and God's work through us.

    We cannot passour responsibility on to politicians, diplomats, economists, technicians,scientists, and secular ideologists. We ourselves are obliged to think aboutthe problems of the form of responsible society and of our own contribution toits creation. Let us avoid the impression that this responsible society will beidentical with Christian society. There has been, is, and will be no Christiansociety, just as there is no Christian state, Christian economy, or Christiancivilization. The new earth and the new heaven which we expect in faith willnot be the work of human hands, but a creation of God's mercy and justice. Andthese are essentially eschatological concepts. Christian civilization is anillusion, and every attempt to fight in its name against so-called un-Christian efforts--social and political ideas--is a self- deception and a gravedanger to the church itself.
    ... J. L.Hromadka (1889-1969), The Church and Theology in
          Today'sTroubled Times, Prague: Ecumenical Council of
          Churchesin Czechoslovakia, 1956, p. 80-81
    See the book athttp://cqod.com/b/r3134

It bothers me that so many people seek to provide solutions that minimize God and minimize personal involvement. Instead we need more people to seek and find God, and let God work through them.

Happy New(ish) Year!

2011-01-26T21:45:00.000-06:00

I'm still alive, and still here - just a little late in posting something for the new year. Its been busy...

Things are going pretty well - John had his first TaeKwonDo competition last week, I may be able to get some video up one of these days (requires time to import into the computer, and edit and such...). Otherwise we're enjoying the weather - Phoenix is a great place in the winter, and pretty much makes up for the summer. The heat of summer still isn't as bad as shoveling snow, as far as I'm concerned.

Not much else right now. Hope things are well with y'all.

Christmas confusion

2010-12-24T11:51:00.000-06:00

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

I remember a point as a child where I heard 'Silent Night', and wondered in the third line - Why are they singing about a fat lady? A woman so large that we have to look around her (and here child) to see the Holy Infant... Even today, the phrasing in English doesn't really make a lot of sense (though it fits musically...), but at least I now can piece together that all is calm around the mother and child...

Do you have funny memories of mis-understood Christmas lyrics?

Hi there - I'm still alive...

2010-10-17T17:34:00.000-05:00

So, its been a while since I posted something. I actually have a few thoughts that I'd like to post at some point, but feel that I put enough 'heavy' stuff up lately that I'd like to put up something light-hearted and funny. The only problem is that I've been waiting for the kids to do something 'million-dollar funny' that I could write up (and then somebody will come and buy the story and make a movie and I'll get millions for it...), but obviously that hasn't happened... Oh well, guess I'll just have to keep working a little longer, before the kids will be able to support me.

I did go camping with Kyle over this weekend - Friday night. This was an orientation program that the local Boy Scout council puts on to help introduce aspects of cub-scouting to the boys. While Kyle started last year, we couldn't make it to the overnight because of scheduling conflicts so we went this year. (Kyle really wanted to go - this is one of the few opportunities to get the Archery and BB-gun belt-loop requirements satisfied, since these have to be performed by trained instructors...) We did have a lot of fun, and got really tired. We were able to setup before a dust storm moved through the area - I'm glad that I wasn't trying to setup the tent in the 30 mph+ wind gusts. I had brought the 'good' tent stakes, and the tent didn't go anywhere - it didn't even really show any evidence of the wind blowing, unlike some other tents around us where the tent was basically being blown flat (the poles couldn't stand up to the wind). I'm glad that we only had wind - there was a good layer of dust on everything in the tent, but we didn't have to deal with mud.

We were warned about active rattle-snakes in the area, and to stay off the rocks - after Kyle and some other boys had already been climbing on the rocks. We didn't see or hear any snakes while we were there, so no real problems. Happily the temperature is down into the 90's now, so it is comfortable enough to camp near Phoenix.

The best part, for Kyle, was the Archery - the boys learned to shoot a bow-and-arrow, how to hold the bow, nock an arrow, draw and release. This is what he was asking about (when do we do Archery?) and what he wants to do more of. Maybe after Baseball is done we'll look into archery until spring baseball starts up (in February....).

That's about it for now, its still just barely warm enough to think about getting in the pool (89 degrees right now, water is 86), so we might go do that.

Remembering Al

2010-06-28T20:57:00.001-05:00

The oldest living Overtoom (that I know of and certainly that I'm related to) pass away last Saturday, at the age of 99. I had been planning to travel up to Wisconsin for a big birthday party, but will now be traveling to be with family for a different reason. I have to confess that I didn't get to spend as much time with Grandpa Overtoom as much as I would have liked (and not as much as I should have) in my adult years, but have some vivid memories of him from my childhood. A few things in particular that come to mind:

- Grandpa didn't seem to be able to actually stay still - he was always doing something, whether getting drinks for people, fixing things or working around the house. The closest might have been at some of the big family gatherings, he could be found at the bar making drinks, or grilling - talking to everybody around him. This is a trait that I share - I don't like sitting around doing nothing, I prefer to be active.

- I remember many gatherings at their house in Berwyn, IL. The house was a two story bungalow with a basement, next to the elementary school. We could go play in the school yard (throw balls or fly model airplanes). The best part was the basement - there was a full bar down there, and Grandpa made a great Kiddie Cocktail (they moved from that house before I was old enough to drink anything more serious). There were colored lights that could be switched on and off - the cousins would sit on the stairs and change from red to blue to green like it was a disco dance (this was in the '70s after all).

- I remember fishing and boat rides at the lake cabin in central Wisconsin. He was a great fisherman, probably the only time that I can remember him sitting fairly still. I especially remember riding around Lake Camelot in the boat, whether to get to a fishing spot or just to go fast.

- Both houses had a lot of hunting and fishing trophies - deer heads and antlers, pheasants, and big scary looking fish with lots of teeth.

- Watching movies in the basement was a highlight of any visit for the kids. Both to see the family movies, but also to watch Abbot & Costello and some silent cartoons. Grandpa was an avid documentor of the family, with his trusty movie camera out to get all the action (or at least the action when he wasn't managing the bar...)

I do admire his work ethic, he worked hard to provide, but also cared for his family and kept the two separate. He always took responsibility for what happened, didn't try to weasel out of things. He gave much in his community. He was a great man, in my eyes. I hear that he died laughing - good natured to the end.

I am that blog writer

2010-02-15T21:16:00.000-06:00

It popped into my mind today that I seem to be often writing the kinds of blog entries that I don't like to read. Most of my entries get into some basic theology, describing what I've been learning about God as I study His Word. When I hit those kinds of entries in other peoples blogs, I tend to skim or skip over them - they are a little dry and uninteresting to me.

I find it interesting that for whatever reason I am doing the thing that I don't like. What I am doing isn't bad - probably my skimming over these sorts of entries is bad - but I don't like other people doing it. Does that make me a hypocrite?

If God is sovereign...

2010-02-13T22:09:00.000-06:00

I'm starting to work through a study on the sovereignty of God, and the what is true because He is sovereign. I thought I'd share things as I discover them, maybe a kind of irregular series on my irregular blog...

One thing that pops up when thinking for very long about God being truly sovereign is that there are tensions that pop up with things that happen in the world. If God is really in control why did xxx happen (fill in your favorite recent earthquake, tsunami, senseless death, disaster)? (I don't hear (or think much) about why doesn't YYY happen...) I'm going to start from the assumption that God is Sovereign - ruler of the universe, creator, almighty, all knowing, eternal. Just read the last chapters of Job for examples of the power that God has over this world - start at Job 38, and see if you can do any of those things...

Lets start off easy - with something that seems like it points to God needing people in order to accomplish His goals... If God is really in charge, able to do all, control all - then what does He need Us for? (another interesting topic for another day.)

In my short time walking with Jesus, I've heard several stories of people who were awakened at night, or tickled by God in other ways, to pray for specific people. Usually these stories come in two parts, from two people:

Jane - I was awakened by the holy spirit about 3:15 in the morning, and felt a leading from the holy spirit - an Urge even - to pray for John, who was traveling in another city. I just felt that his life was in danger, and that I needed to pray for God to intercede... I prayed for 30 minutes, and went back to sleep.

John - About 3:15 in the morning my car broke down in the middle of a gang-infested part of BigTownImTravelingThrough - I could see graffiti and mean looking guys with knives all around - when the car stopped they all started heading over towards me - I could see they were sizing up how much money they could get from me and the car. I was really scared - I started to pray and suddenly a police car pulled up. The thugs scattered and the police were able to get a tow truck to me.

In these kinds of stories it seems that God is not able to save 'John' without some request or prayer assistance from 'Jane'. Sometimes there are other people who also get the urge to pray for John at the same time, in different parts of the country (or the world). Why is God asking people to pray to protect and save John when He is all powerful and in control of everything? Even evil (the gangsters) can't touch God's people without His say so (Job 1:12). Why this apparent contradiction between the testimony of the people and God's word (the Bible)?

When we're presented with a situation like this, where my understanding of the situation doesn't mesh with what we can see and understand we have two choices - either our understanding is wrong or the Bible is wrong. We can ask God to reveal where our limited understanding needs to be adjusted, or we can push God aside and seek the wisdom of man.

Here, I can see people doing God's work - something that we are called to do, to worship the Lord and serve Him. The core question is whether God needs to have anybody else involved in this work. Being human, we tend to put our own motives onto other peoples actions. I ask for help when I can't do something on my own. I see somebody (Jane) awakened to pray, and assume that that person has some special ability or need which is being called on to do the work - I that situation through my own limitations, imparting my need for help onto Gods request. I like it when people ask me to help them do something they have trouble with - it boosts my pride. I see God boosting the pride of Jane in this situation - she would be proud to have been called to help. We have trouble seeing the situation and the motives of God through our own human motives - and create a tension between a sovereign God and a God who seems to need our intercessory help.

This situation exists so that God can be glorified. How can Jane and John both clearly see that God is sovereign, cares about and loves them, and can orchestrate things? By putting them into a situation where, dependent on Him they both are part of the situation - without being aware of what is happening. John is not aware that Jane is praying for him, he is only aware of His own prayers being answered. Jane is not aware of what she is praying for - but after talking to John in the morning and learning what went on Jane can be awed to have seen God at work. Whether Jane feels any pride from 'helping' in this situation, she gets to see that (a) God loves John, (b) God loves Jane and knows how important John is to her, (c) God lets her see that He is in control. John gets reinforcement that God was there and He cares - not only was he delivered from the danger, but after talking with Jane he is aware that God shared the situation with another, in a way that only God could do.

Jane was awakened to pray not because God needed help, but so that she would be aware of God at work. If Jane slept through the night, then heard from John that his car broke down and was saved only because of the timely arrival of the police car, she might see this as God responding to Johns prayer, but it might just be a coincidence -God could be excluded from consideration. The hand of God isn't as real for Jane just hearing about Johns answer to prayer. By awakening her at the time that John was in trouble, Jane can see the hand of God at work - He reached to her because of John's situation. God gets the glory in this - neither John nor Jane, after comparing notes, can reasonably claim this as a coincidence. God gets the glory. As John and Jane tell the story, God gets the glory - others can see the work of God in the situation, in a way that is unmistakably God. God wants the glory.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Something to think about - when something happens that doesn't seem to have God involved in it, how can that event, or the outcome of that event, bring glory to God? Maybe you can't see His Glory in the event, or immediately afterwards. Sometimes it takes time and the work of the Holy Spirit for you to see how He gets glory. The good we receive may not come until we are with Him.

Modern Parables

2009-12-03T20:17:00.000-06:00

What might be some parables that Jesus would use today? How can
spiritual truths be explained in the 21st century?

On wanting to be first into the kingdom
Consider the underwear - the clothing worn first and closest to the
skin (unless you are Madonna). Is being first to be put on desirable?
Is not the underwear the grottiest clothing at the end of the day,
reserved for cleansing in scalding hot water and harsh chemicals?
Instead seek to be a cardigan sweater, able to be worn several times
before receiving a gentle cleansing (unless worn by a messy eater).
Though it is the last to be put on, it truly has the higher place of
honor.

Well, maybe that isn't a parable that Jesus would use...

The dreaded invasion from another dimension

2009-11-30T14:42:00.001-06:00

A quick, light thought.

Reading about the horrible things that are supposed to happen when the Large Hadron Collider is fully switched on, one of the scenarios is that we open a hole to another dimension, and invading aliens proceed to come in and conquer all the Earth, sending humanity into slavery.

Thinking back over the various Sci-Fi movies I've seen, and books that I've read, I find it interesting that anytime a hole is opened into another dimension we always seem to promptly have an invasion force streaming through it which humanity has to fight off. Its almost like the other dimensions all either direct these tears in the space-time fabric to always-ready invasion forces, or they have invasion forces ready all over the place - just in case there is a dimension hole opened.

Is this really likely? Isn't it more likely that the dimension hole will open into some totally random place - maybe a living room where the beings are casually watching their equivalent to 'The Love Boat', when this tear opens and ruins the ending of the show? I'd expect that we're more likely to have beer cans thrown at us than a prompt invasion from highly trained armed forces. Maybe we'd have the bad luck to open a dimension hole into their garbage dump...

Why not think of some great outcomes - we open a hole to an alternate dimension where Carbon Dioxide is the breath of life, and they are having trouble with global warming caused by Oxygen? We could start up a great trade in gas swaps - send them the excess CO2 that we have, pick up the O2 that we need. Maybe their garbage is pure energy which we can easily harness to provide electricity within this dimension - solving our looming energy crisis.

I say, let the collisions happen - we're much more likely to find the salvation of mankind in the other dimenstions that the LHC opens to us than our own doom. (And, just in case we do happen to open into the middle of a highly trained and prepared group of alien commandos - I was all for opening the dimension gateway, I appreciate your mercy...)

Judging the sheep and the goats

2009-11-23T10:34:00.000-06:00

One of the passages in the Gospel that has bothered me a little bit has always been Matthew 25:31-46. All people are separated into those who served Christ and those who did not - with eternal rest for those who served and torment for those who did not. The part that is a little troubling has been that for those who served, it is one small act which receives praise and rest - 'Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me', while for the others it is one small act not performed - 'Whatever you did not do for the least of these...'. The troubling thing is that as a Christian, if I fail to provide for somebody hungry and homeless on the street - if I pass him by, is my salvation lost or tarnished? (Even though there are many passages that teach that salvation cannot be lost - the thought is whether I have deceived myself into thinking that I know Jesus and am saved.) I sometimes don't feel that I'm in the group of sheep on the right which will enter into rest.

I've thought of these two groups as the people who are doing things, whether they know of the act or not, out of the work of the Holy Spirit in their hears - they are following Christ and doing His work as they are led (the sheep). The other group (the goats) are the people who are trying to do works to earn the favor of the judge (God), working out of their own motives to gain salvation. The difference is whether I do good acts to the Body of Christ because I am saved, or whether I do good acts to become saved. Most of the New Testament teaches that the former is correct - I cannot earn salvation. This passage can be interpreted that the goats are condemned because they were not absolutely perfect - if they try to earn salvation than a single failure causes them to lose it. (Paul spends much of the first 4 chapters of Romans teaching the same thing - that it isn't possible to earn salvation, it is a gift given by God through Jesus). The sheep are praised for having faith in Jesus' work, and showing the fruit of that through a single good act. One good act done in faith shows salvation, one good act not done in our own will earns condemnation.

In thinking about this in this season of thanksgiving, a new thought was revealed to me - many of the acts that we do are not known to us - how wonderful it will be to meet the people whose lives were changed through some seemingly insignificant act of Gods love done through us. How many people are going to be thankful for your allowing God to work through you when you are gathered at the throne? Are you letting Him use you, or are you doing good acts to earn your place? I think it will be awesome to see fully all the ways that God has worked - I can see some of the work that He did to bring me to Him, how other people and chance encounters worked to place me on the narrow path. I look forward to meeting those who I have help direct to Jesus even if I don't know it.

TANSTAAFL

2009-10-22T16:50:00.005-05:00

That is - "There Aint No Such Thing As A Free Lunch"

Something that, if I remember my college physics properly, is demanded by the Law of Conservation of Energy and the 3rd law of thermodynamics. Also something that most people might think of as 'The law of unintended consequences'.

I've been thinking about the whole climate change thing. I'm not going to disagree with the empirical evidence which points that the average planetary temperature is rising. I'm not sure that anybody has proven what the cause of the warming is. Sorry Al Gore, I don't agree that Carbon Dioxide alone is contributing, especially when I've seen studies that show that the CO2 increase in the atmosphere can't explain the whole temperature increase to date.

Are carbon reductions the right way to go? There seems to be a HUGE push to 'Green Energy' - finding non-hydrocarbon means of producing energy which don't produce carbon. Why? Because a group has clamped onto the CO2 as the cause, so we must reduce the CO2 emissions. However, while I see a lot of calls to reduce use of carbon-burning energy generation, I haven't seen much call yet to actually reduce the amount of energy which is consumed... What if part of the warming is being caused by the excess heat that we are producing? We lay blacktop all over in cities, and see warming because we are now putting down a surface which converts light to heat. We have to be comfortable, so we have air-conditioning (and heat from furnaces) which push heat out to the environment. Cars are pretty bad in harnessing the energy from burning gasoline - there is a lot of excess heat to be gotten rid of (through the radiator). Computers are producing great amounts of excess heat. Most of the means we use to produce electricity produce excess heat that has to be released to the environment (wind and hydro-power I think are the only exceptions).

We harness a tiny portion of the solar energy which falls on the earth every day - so one of the ways to reduce carbon production has been to look to wind and solar power. What might be some of the unintended consequences? Is it possible that by putting out arrays of mirrors and solar panels to collect energy that we reduce local heating effects - leading to general cooling? Remember that the average temperature on the planet is produced based on solar heating. If we were to efficiently capture more solar energy, the law of conservation of energy says that the energy isn't being used for something else (heating the air), so we might cool off more than expected. I'm neglecting that unless we stop producing so much waste heat it might just balance out. I'm also neglecting that other than putting solar farms in deserts, we probably lose some good vegetated land in this process...

There have been studies of the unintended consequences of wind power - some local changes in weather have been observed downwind of large wind farms, because energy has been sucked from the moving air, and thus winds are a bit lighter. I've also read one study that the reduction in air pressure behind a wind turbine can kill bats and birds.

What I'm trying to say is that we can't put up big wind farms and solar arrays to generate electricity without there being some other impact. We are taking in solar energy which reduces the energy available to other natural processes which have been going on for a long time (generally involved in heating things). The impact may be small, it may be offset by human heat generation, or it may be beneficial (cooling deserts enough to be habitable?) - but there will be an effort. We can't get energy without having some impact on our environment.

Part of what this thinking has lead to for me is some sensitivity to how much energy can be conserved. I do try to bike to work instead of driving. We try to turn off lights as much as possible. There is probably a ton more that I can do. I don't know that we can maintain the way of life that we currently enjoy - something has to change to reduce the overall footprint - not just our carbon footprint.

Climate control guilt

2009-10-20T22:38:00.002-05:00

So - I'll apologize to anybody that gets upset by the comparisons I have in this post about relative comfort and temperatures in different areas. To be completely honest, a year ago I would have said you were completely bonkers if you said I'd be living in Arizona, and would be on the side of thinking that people are completely insane to live here in the summer.

At this point, I'll say that you don't have to be completely insane, just willing to put up with a higher electricity bill than I'd ever seen before. You want to limit the time between the car and getting inside a building, since it is so #*&^ hot outside in the summer. Of course, I'd say the same about the 3 months of winter in Chicago - you want to limit the time between the car and getting inside a building. Basically, I've just flipped the inconvenient seasons. Please keep that in mind - while you (while most people that I think read this) are in a place just entering the inconvenient uncomfortable season, I just went through it and am finally able to do things outside.

I was thinking earlier today, that we generally tried to not turn on the heat in the house until October. My frugal soul just really had trouble justifying heating up the inside when it was still generally nice outside. We tried to not turn it on after May 1 - same reason. Now, I'm feeling a similar twinge of climate control guilt at turning on the A/C in October. I'm not trying to gloat - we had temperatures over 100 degrees last weekend which is a bit uncomfortable to be going outside. But, turning on the A/C in October feels like turning on the heat in September - it doesn't seem right. We just had a nice week where we didn't have the A/C on at all, and enjoyed the breeze blowing through the house, having to close everything up again seems like betrayal.

It does cool off fast in the evening now, so I need a jacket in the morning for walking or biking. No - I haven't acclimated that fast, I would wear a jacket biking in 55 degree weather in Chicago too. The only difference is that it is 55 in the morning and 90 in the afternoon... I won't say that I miss raking up the leaves (which we'd be doing now in Grayslake), and I won't complain about not having to shovel snow 2 months from now. I will miss having fall colors nearby - leaves just up and fall off trees without a color change here. I'm sure I'll miss seeing everything green up in spring. I already miss the break from mowing the lawn (we just planted winter grass, so that we keep the yard green and soft, instead of brown and crunchy once the Bermuda grass goes to sleep).

Everything is a trade off...

Whassup?

2009-09-19T17:27:00.002-05:00

I thought I'd put together a short catchup post to let people know how things are going here - rather than share any real thoughts.

We've been in Arizona about 4 months now (almost 5), and pretty much settled in. We've been attending East Valley Bible Church in Gilbert, and starting to get involved in things there. I'm helping in one of the first grade Sunday school classes - something pretty new as I've been avoiding childrens ministry for a while - but its been fun so far. We've also gotten plugged into a home group in the area, and I've been attending a mens study group on Thursday mornings before work. Its been nice the last few weeks to be able to find people we know at church - as big as the church is it is surprising how easy it is to find people you know (once you've met a few people...)

It's starting to cool off here, I've been able to bike to work most days, and we're seeing highs in the 90s again - I know its a lot warmer than what MN and IL have been seeing all summer, but it is nice - going out in the evening when its 92 is pretty nice - about like taking a nice walk when its around 78 in Chicago. I don't know if I'm getting used to the hot temperatures (and will be shivering when it gets colder) or that the lack of humidity really makes a difference.

Work is going well - there is plenty to do, mostly I've been involved in cleaning up some documentation issues that have existed for a while - we're still restarting development work on the project, and its nice to have some time to clean up issues. Things are starting to pick up in terms of development and planning for the next phases though, so I'm sure that there will be more interesting problems to tackle soon. In the meanwhile its been nice to be able to hold to 40 hours a week. I've been getting in around 7:30, and can leave at 4PM, which is nice since there is some time to play with the kids before dinner, and I can help with dinner most nights. Things are starting to get busy in the evenings now too, with kids activities and things, so we are hopping through most of the week.

That's about all we have right now. Nothing really major or problematic - just settling into a routine again after the fall activities have started up.

Is the proposed Heath Care Reform the right thing?

2009-08-19T22:43:00.004-05:00

Something quick about my views on the health care debate. I don't want to be mistaken for somebody who is against the plan just because it is pushed by the Democrats, or that I think poor people don't deserve good care. I'm not sure that the solution which is being proposed is the right one.

Part of what I do for a living is to analyze problems in software. In particular, when we see a problem, we don't just jump into fixing what we can see - first we determine if what is observed is actually the problem, or just a symptom of the problem. Most of the issues that people see with Microsoft Windows are actually symptoms. When your web browser crashes it rarely is because of a defect in the web browser - its because of a defect in another piece of software that destabilizes the browser, causing it to crash. Finding the actual root cause of the problem can be very difficult. I've spent weeks tracking down traces of issues to get back to what really happened to cause what was observed.

My biggest fear is that we (as a nation, and the political leaders in Washington D.C. in particular) haven't taken the time to look at the root cause of the problem. What are the symptoms that we can observe:

Health care is too expensive - people generally cannot afford care unless they have insurance. Both doctor visits and medicine can be extremely expensive
Health insurance is too expensive - unless you have a good job and an employer that pays most of the premiums
Some people go bankrupt trying to pay medical bills, or don't get the treatment they need and die because they don't have the money
Hospitals are closing in some areas (going bankrupt or losing money and closing for business reasons)

If you've spent much time looking at this, these are all related. Because of (1), (3) happens (people can't pay for coverage, or go broke paying). (1) leads to (2) - the money collected in insurance premiums has to cover the expenses, or the insurance company goes bankrupt. If medical costs increase, insurance costs increase. (4) is a side effect of (3) - enough people that don't pay and the hospital has to do something, maybe leading to (1). As insurance companies try to fix (2), they pressure doctors and hospitals to lower their rates which also may contribute to (4).

A lot of reasons have been given for why health care is so expensive:

Greed - the doctors need those big homes and private club fees...
Uninsured - people without insurance can't afford care, so don't pay, and the charges for everybody are raised to compensate - when I pay the hospital I'm paying my bill and part of somebody elses
Legitimate office expenses - the people working in the doctors office need to be paid, and they (like everybody) expect to get more money every year
Illegitimate office expenses - things that are maybe also symptoms of the problem. Doctors now need to have staff dedicated to billing and handling insurance claims. Malpractice insurance keeps going up. Paper work and bureaucracy (HIPAA anyone?) lead to more paper-pushers needed everywhere.
Illegal aliens are using medical resources and not paying
Space aliens are making everybody sick...

OK, maybe the last one isn't a real reason. I do know that the doctors office we were going to in Illinois went bankrupt and was bought out by a larger health care organization. I do know that Illinois has extremely high malpractice rates, high enough that doctors move their practice to Wisconsin. I also see that my insurance company knocks off 30-70% of what the doctor bills - money which he won't get paid and can't charge me for. Either the doctor was really padding his bills, or he's losing money on insured patients.

The goverment's solution? To create a new bureaucracy and make sure that everybody gets Health insurance. This is at best a band-aid on the symptom - we make sure that everybody gets to contribute to make sure that everybody has insurance to pay the outrageous medical bills. And, we need to pay more taxes to staff the new bureaucracy which will govern the insurance plans. No real mention of how health costs will be brought under control - as new government regulations come in costs are likely to go up as more staff is needed to manage the insurance twists. We aren't addressing why medical care is expensive, only making sure that everybody is insured and able to pay for it - while possibly also driving the medical profession out of business through lower negotiated rates.

This band-aid is only asking for the problem to ooze out of a different area - if health costs are not controlled, then health insurance costs will continue to grow - and with the government backing insurance for all that will hit you and me in the pocket. We just push off the problem to a later time.

Maybe some part of the debate should be about how to reign in the costs of providing health care - how can the cost of doing business be reduced for doctors? Can malpractice insurance rates be reduced through meaningful tort reform? I don't want to prevent people from getting redress for negligence on the part of a doctor - but I don't want them suing over something that the doctor had no control over either. Is health insurance the right approach to take in the first place - whether public or private? I don't have the answers - but it sure looks to me like the Congress has chosen a solution, whether it is the right one or not, and are going to enact it whether I like it or not. It isn't clear that the solution addresses what the real problem is, instead of providing a temporary band-aid.

Things I never thought I'd say

2009-07-27T20:43:00.002-05:00

So, if you had told me a year ago that right now I'd have relocated to Phoenix, Arizona I would have told you that you're crazy. I had no plans to leave my previous employer, I didn't forsee selling our beloved house in Grayslake, and if I were to move for some reason it more likely would be further north. But.... this is now, and the aforementioned move has happened. So, I find myself saying a few things that I might not have otherwise ever said in my life -

"Its 9PM and its still 100 degrees outside!"

"Its pretty cool today - only supposed to be 104 - I can bike to work."

"Look - a dust storm warning."

"Remember to pick up rocks carefully..."

A few other new observations:

I downed an entire 16 ounce bottle of water in 7 miles of biking on my way home last week (in the previously mentioned 104 degrees).

I am getting up at 5:15 AM to get out and do a 10 mile bike ride before it gets too hot (its only been 90 that early).

Did you know you can bake on the grill?

The car doors have black handles on the outside. This can be painful if the sun has been shining on the door you want to open...

--
We are doing pretty well - things have settled down, we have adjusted to the new house and routines. We are looking forward to still being able to do a lot outside in the winter, and to seeing visitors then (since no sane person comes to Arizona in the summer...)

How's it going?

2009-05-05T21:58:00.002-05:00

A few very quick notes on the move, and the new job. Things are going pretty well here so far. I have started work at General Dynamics, and while I have a lot of learning to do (being a completely new and different problem domain for me) there are a lot of things that actually are similar to solutions that I used before - different problem but a similar way to solve it - so I am getting to know what's going on. Working for a defense contractor, security is definitely handled differently than what I had at my previous position. The requirement that employees also be US citizens also changes the demographics of the workplace quite a lot - there are not a lot of immigrants to be seen.

We're working through a stomach bug right now (or its working through us?). I spent about half of the weekend in bed, and am still not completely over it - food isn't as appealing right now, but I can at least eat. Not the best start to things - work for a week and then get sick!

On the home front, we're in a 3-bedroom apartment right now (furnished) and we are scheduled to close on our house May 20 - 2 weeks away. There doesn't seem to be anything holding up the closing right now, I just need to provide a pay stub to the mortgage company (but I don't get my first paycheck until May 14). We can take multiple trips to move the stuff we have here over to the new house, unlike the move down here, so that can be a bit more relaxed. We had a pretty uneventful drive down here, all the pets survived and all the kids (though sometimes the kids were in danger as we ate in restaurants). We took it easy, stopping along the way to see some of the sights. We did stop at an actual 'Route 66' era diner in New Mexico for lunch one day, which was kinda cool, even if they weren't trying to stay in the '50s character. I think that knowing that we were at a diner which has just kept doing the same thing was more satisfying than a touristy 'Route 66' experience would be.

That's all for now. My main reason for not posting sooner really was that I've been going to bed early the last few nights as I'm working to recover - not even playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook...

Almost time

2009-04-14T18:41:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow the movers come to start packing up our stuff, they load the van on Friday. We stick around this weekend, then start driving on Monday. We'll be in an apartment for 30 days in Scottsdale, then close on our house May 20 and we'll be able to settle in.

For those interested we have the following things to do:
Wed-Thurs-Fri - Supervise the packing and loading, making sure that key items we need don't get loaded on the truck. This may involve putting them into the van/car or in a neighbors garage.
Wed - take the love seat out to the curb for the garbage men to take away. I've had this 18 years, but the frame is broken and springs are sprung, so it can't be given away.
We have given away a lot of stuff that we don't need, using Freecycle (freecycle.org) to find takers.

Friday evening we meet with some neighbors to say goodbye.
Saturday we have a memorial service for Kris's Grandmother.
Sunday is a Gymnastics meet.

Then, we start driving:
Monday - Grayslake to St. Louis, MO with a visit to the gateway arch.
Tuesday - St. Louis to Tulsa, OK, with a planned stop at Wilson's battlefield
Wednesday - Tulsa to Amarillo, TX
Thursday - Amarillo to Gallup, NM - the longest drive of the trip at 418 miles
Friday - Gallup to Scottsdale and our apartment, the shortest day of the trip

Then, a weekend to get settled and I start work on Monday April 27. That will be an adjustment, I've been working a lot on the house for almost 3 months, so getting back into software might take a little bit.

Hearing from God

2009-02-27T10:34:00.004-06:00

1 Kings 19:11-13 (New International Version)

¹¹ The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. ¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

God's voice can be hard to hear sometimes over the noise of the world around us. What He speaks can be bent by others, and by our own interpretation. What seems powerful and urgent is not always the word of God.

Isaiah 30:21 (New International Version)

²¹ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

If you've read my previous blog, you know that I am wrestling to hear clearly and follow God's will for me and my family. In particular, I have been praying that God clearly illuminates where I am to go work, by shutting down or making all other possibilities unattractive. I have also been praying for his clear revelation, that somebody would essentially come up to me and say "God wants you to work in xxx".

This morning as I was praying I feel that it was revealed that (a) I'm asking for the wrong revelation and (b) I'm listening to the wrong thing. I'll explain (b) first.

There have been two sets of input that we (Kris and I) have received in regards to my job situation. The first is from people who are aware of what is going on and are praying for us, or generally trying to offer advice. Whether godly people or not, we seem to get more negative input from this group - that the path we are looking at is not the right path. Much of this is based on emotion - fear for our safety, grief at the loss of friends moving away, desire to have us closer to family members. All of this input, while not unbiblical, does not seem to consider what God might have planned. I call these 'the word of the world'.

The second set of input has been from people who don't know the details of what we are evaluating, yet are delivering words which are divinely inspired. This includes words which Kris and I may receive ourselves during our prayer and devotional time (these coming directly from the Holy Spirit). [I'll apologize to those who do not have a close personal relationship with Jesus - this may seem like a lot of spiritual mumbo-jumbo, but it is very real to us - we can certainly talk with you in detail about why and how we believe that Jesus is real, alive and helps us.] These words all seem to be leading positively towards the path we see before us. I say seem because we do have to interpret the words we receive. It is possible that we are missing the interpretation - however, there are a number of different things we've heard from different sources, individually, that all together point in the path we see. Any of these individually could be interpreted to go somewhere else, but together it is difficult to see God saying anything but what is before us. We feel that we have the working of God as described in the passage from Isaiah above - when we look back on the promises of God, and his guiding words, we can see that we are on the right path. These are the 'words of God'.

I also said I was asking for the wrong revelation. I was asking to see where God wants us to be. The right question is to ask where God is working, and how He wants me to join. One of the things that we realized yesterday is that due to some aspects of the current economic situation, we may well be able to afford a much nicer home than we have now - in particular in a more upscale neighborhood. Looking at this from God's view, there is a known tendency for people who are well off to be self-reliant, they feel they don't need God. We currently live in a good, vibrant community, with many neighbors who profess Jesus as their Savior (not all do, but many). This I feel to be a spiritually safe place (maybe also because of the two churchs across the street...). By moving to a new neighborhood which does not respect the need for God, we move to a spiritually darker place, someplace that while it may be physically safe is not spiritually safe. One thing that I heard this week in a sermon was that if you feel that you are safe, then you aren't doing God's work. We need to be out in the world, so that people can see and learn to know Jesus. One way is to be in a place of people who are hurting economically and need to know good news of the eternal provision which is available for them.

So, the more we compare notes and interpret what each other has received, the more alignment we see in one direction - that we will be moving, and this will be difficult for us and our families - but there is some immediate good we can see, as well as some long-term possibilities.

We don't have a date just yet - I have been told by HR that an offer is being prepared, and they are trying to get the right management in the office to approve that, and then I will learn of whether this is the path God has for us or if he has been testing my discernment...

What to do...

2009-02-20T15:08:00.004-06:00

So, I'm at a bit of a crossroads spiritually and emotionally. I've had one good interview in my job search, but its a bit further away from my extended family. I have a lot of pressure from some of my extended family to seek a position in Minnesota, but haven't really made much headway in getting somebody to look at my resume yet... I'm trying to see if God's will for me to stay here (in Chicago) last year is still His will, or if I am to do His work elsewhere. I'm resting in a fog of doubt and uncertainty, pondering what might be and probably getting ahead of myself with wishful thinking...

Part of the problem is dissociating my desires and will from what God wants me to do. I have a craving for new things and variety - a big move to a new company, doing new projects in a new house is certainly going to provide a big dose of change and variety. So, first off is to figure out if I'm leaving the Chicago area for greener (or snowier) pastures. God called me to stay here last year, to to take a position in the leadership of our Church. I want to be very certain that I am following His will if I leave here. This hasn't been clear to me so far - nobody has stood up and told me 'God says Go West young man!'. This may be a test of my discernment...

Another part is making sure that I go through this with the right motives, again following where God would have me to be. I don't want to follow the money, or feel that I need to provide for my family (immediate or extended) - but I need to trust in God's provision. Certainly it will be easy if when I get an offer it is such an obvious low-ball offer that its clear that I can't take that position, but what if it isn't? I've been praying for God to make clear to me what the position is that I should take, that he closes down all other options. I've already had one phone interview end quickly because it was apparent that while I filled the role, there wasn't going to be an acceptable offer forthcoming. Where I start getting my self mired in uncertainty is by following this line of thought:

What if I get an offer that is acceptable, but still haven't heard from God to verify this?
What if there is something better coming up, and though this seems good it is really a 'closed door'?
Can I make the right decision on something that is acceptable to me, or will my excitement drown out the holy spirit warning me about a position?

I can't prove a positive outcome - the negative is easy (no offer, bad role, not a fit). Something that isn't negative might not be best - I can only pray for the discernment to know, to see the choir of angels that delivers 'THE' offer to me... ;) Only God can prove the positive (through that hypothetical choir of angels...).

More of the problem is that it's easy to take opportunities that have been presented and work them to a logical conclusion - which of course means getting the dream job that the posting represents. So I've been thinking about how wonderful it would be to live in Phoenix and bike more of the year, how awesome to be in Minnesota with family nearby, how we can sell our current house for a lot, and get a great house cheap (and worked out all the issues of how to finance, move, etc.). It becomes easy to put my interpretation on events and what I do hear from God, blessing each of these options...

I appreciate your ongoing prayers to help me see the path, to have discernment to follow Gods will for my family, to not be swayed by money, or family desires, or fears but to hold true to the eternal provision and be faithful to that.

What's going on?

2009-02-04T17:37:00.002-06:00

Hi all - if you've been following things here, you know that my group was suddenly further reduced, including me, so my illustrious career in mobile phone design is more or less over... What am I doing now that I have an extra 40 hours a week?

1) Looking for the next job - already working on that, had a few phone calls already. Ideally, I work out a start date of March 30, which is just after my 'official' last day (60 days notice thing), and would allow me to keep/save/use all of the 26 weeks of severance. Collecting unemployment benefits requires that I do a certain amount of time searching for a new position.

2) Working through some career transition classes. Part of the severance package is 6 months of transition support services - consulting to get my resume in order, interviewing, negotiation help - along with a placement service. So, I start through some of those classes this week and next.

3) Work around the house - there are a lot of projects that haven't been getting done, and now they are. We're figuring that if we have to move (seems likely) we should finish all the things we started. If we don't have to move, then we get a like-new house... :) Some of the things that have to be done:

Paint the kitchen cabinets
Fix a big hole in the kitchen wall with a bunch of wires coming out of it (don't know who made that, we found it when the suspended ceiling was removed)
Paint the kitchen walls
Finish installing baseboards in the master bedroom
Paint the master bathroom (clean up the mildew first)
Clean mildew from the master bath shower, and replace some caulk and grout that is loose
Figure out how to fix the shower once-and-for-all so that it stops leaking
Fix the big hole in the family room ceiling below the shower drain...
Fix a big hole in the kids bathroom wall (caused when a sliding door fell off track)
Paint the kids bathroom
Paint the upstairs hall
Touch up some ceiling spots that got wall paint on them in the dining and living rooms
Paint trim in the master bedroom
Fix the front door lockset
Paint the window frames in the basement
Replace a basement door that was abused by toys (and is a little holey)
Replace some ceiling tiles in the basement
lots of paint touch-up in the basement (maybe repaint the basement)
Finish updating the phone wiring (figure out which wires go to phone jacks that were removed...)
Paint ceiling on the basement stairs
Paint celing in the office
Clean out the fireplace (still ashes in there from the last fire 5 years ago)
etc

You get the picture - plenty of stuff to do. At some point we also need to look into replacing most of the carpet in the house - a lot is +25 years old, and well worn at this point. If we do have to sell, and it doesn't happen when there is snow on the ground, add to the list some major grass renovation work and garden cleanup...

4) Update my coding skills a little bit - it has been a while since I actually wrote software... (vs. telling other people how to write it) Anybody need some programs written?

5) Goof off. We went to the Museum of Science and Industry today - not many people there, which was great. I need another 400,000 points in Lego Star Wars to buy the minikit detector, and find the last minikit I'm missing - then I'll have completed the game.

So, I don't have to worry much about going insane from boredom...

God provides

2009-01-17T11:42:00.002-06:00

So, if you've read the previous two days postings you know that my current management doesn't feel that I'm needed anymore. Even though the loss of a job might seems like a big thing, and something that might cause some to doubt God's provision, I can already see how He is working through this, and how He was working even before I knew about my position being reduced:

1) On Thursday morning I had an email in my inbox from a colleague I'd worked with on other projects before, who is in a 'safe' division (one that is still profitable, and likely to stay that way). That group is expanding, and has some openings. So, there is at least one possible opportunity which would cause only a change in my duties, and not in my employment status.

2) Because of the size of the reduction, there is a legal requirement for 60 day notification. Though my last day worked is due to be Jan 30, I remain on the payroll with full benefits (including accruing vacation, which will be paid in April). This accounts to a legally required paid vacation for two months...

3) I have through industry standards activity in the last few years made a number of contacts and references which may be useful. There are people outside of my current group who feel that I am still needed, and are escalating the issue, so my status may be reversed.

While this seems like a nice, rosy set of good provisions, I also have to say that He doesn't always clear up problems in a nice easy package - there may be some lessons He is trying to teach through the experience. I still have the emotional impact to deal with, and still have to take some actions to secure my position. I have to trust Him and listen carefully for how to proceed - to remain in Grayslake (which I felt to be the calling last year) or to take steps I may feel are needed to remain employed, even if that involves moving away. I have to fight through what might be a greedy, world-induced desire to maximize my financial gain (seek work elsewhere and keep the most of the severance package) and see His true path. If no internal opportunity arises, I have to trust in His provision and leadership - that He will provide employment before we run out of money, and to see clearly where we should go or stay and what adjustments may be necessary.

Part of this experience is to remind me not to put trust in anything of the world - but to trust in God for provision. Perhaps we will become missionaries - that is a safe job which will not go away (until Jesus returns at least) - though the pay is much les....

Live blogging from layoff land (2)

2009-01-15T15:07:00.002-06:00

It seems that I, and most of the rest of my team, are no longer needed. At least I now know the direction to take, and will likely have some extra free time after Jan. 30 (and as much as I can steal before then).

Live blogging from Layoff land

2009-01-15T08:59:00.002-06:00

So, if you've read the news today you probably saw a story about my employer releasing 4000 people this week. Meetings are going on around here today and tomorrow, where people learn their fate. I have a mandatory, in-person meeting (with the rest of my team) set for 1:30. Either we all stay or we all leave is my take - just don't know which yet.

I will provide information when I learn it. I'm not overly concerned either way - if I get to leave, it might involve a move; if I stay I have to deal with deteriorating morale in a company which still hasn't shown that it can sort out management and program inefficiencies to compete in todays cell-phone market. Not sure which is better - one hand has 26 weeks of severance pay and 2 months of medical insurance (plenty of time to lean on my network to find a position), the other has continuing job security - though at a company which is rapidly going into the ground...

Why we need God

2009-01-02T12:02:00.003-06:00

I've seen a number of things in the last week that I find interesting, as they point out a few truths from the Bible, and how we need God, even if we don't want to admit that.

There have been a number of 'displays' created by atheist groups, joining in the nativity, menorah, etc. displays around the country. I find it interesting how as these groups explain what they are doing, that they feel they need to convince people that we are 'past the religious superstition of the past'. The atheists recognize that people (and this is from all culture groups and countries) seem to always seek after some 'myth' that leads to greater explanation of what is going on... While some of the 'myths' have been answered by science (which I think is the premise of the atheist argument - that science has provided answers for all the reasons that people seek religious explanations) there are a number which have not - we don't know just how the universe began, we don't know how awareness in humans comes about, and we don't know why humans in particular enjoy some things like music.

I also read an interesting article about 'humanism' as a 'religion'. This is a growing movement to provide the rituals and fellowship that are found in a church, without being religious (other than perhaps worshiping humanity...). This also points to a huge need within people to be part of something larger - that we aren't satisfied being alone, and weren't created to be self-sufficient. The 'Humanists' seek the relation, but don't want religion (yet, they are creating something like a religion in providing the framework for the relation...).

This need to be part of something larger is really our (humanity's) desire to be in right relation to God. We were created to be with God (look at Genesis 2, the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden). Because of sin (see Genesis 3) we can't have that relation. That need is 'written' into us - it is part of our being, it is made clear, as in Romans 1-20:

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

(read Romans 1-3 for a really great explanation of how this need for relation exists, and why we can't have it - Romans 4-8 talk about the solution).

So, if the explanation to our 'obsessive and irrational need' to be in something greater, which leads to the perceived need for religion and ritual, is found in God, why isn't that obvious to all? Because we (humans with free will) have again (and continue to) rejected God.

Romans 2:5 - But because of your stubborness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgement will be revealed.

Those who seek to be free from God will :

Be ever hearing, but never understanding;
be ever seeing, but never perceiving.
Make the heart of this people calloused;
make their ears dull and close their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts,
and turn and be healed.
- Isaiah 6:9-10

If we refuse to accept God, we will not be able to understand His ways and His doings, and will not be able to see the mercy which He has for us. This is the missing piece in the above examples - people who have consciously separated themselves from God (the definition of an atheist) cannot see the work of God, and have to seek within Human knowledge for why things are the way they are - when the truth is that God placed them there. Why do humans enjoy music? So that they may encounter God in music, and because He loves music. Why do humans feel a need for religion? We were created to worship God.

If you don't understand what I've written here, maybe you need to find a way to relation with God. Because of our sin, only one way exists - through knowing the rising Jesus as your Redeemer and Savior - He who dies as a sacrifice for your sins, so that you may approach God as holy and blameless...

Cute Kidisms

2009-01-02T12:00:00.003-06:00

New quote - yesterday evening, after we watched a taped broadcast of the Nutcracker Ballet, Jessi asked 'Is BB King still alive?". We said we thought so, and asked why she wanted to know. Jessi explained that she thought she saw him in the finale scene of the ballet.....

We had to explain that his music is a little different than what you would find in a ballet...

Of media PCs, old remotes and Linux

2008-12-30T13:51:00.002-06:00

This post will probably be horribly boring for the non-geeks in the audience (which might be everybody...), so I'll apologize to everybody in advance...

It has been a desire of mine for a bit to build up a media/entertainment PC and integrate that into our entertainment center. Partly because I get TIVO-like functionality, partly to allow playing the music that we've downloaded (and isn't on CD), partly to watch all of the home video that we have (which is only on PC - we can watch by hooking the camera to the TV, but it doesn't put out good resolution, what we get is basically the camera display blown up about 200000000 times, so its a little pointilistic...), and mostly because I just want to do something cool and drool over new PC components...

I've managed to pull together a system which should perform adequately - it has higher performance than my current desktop PC, which is able to do OK at recording and playing back video (though using Windows Media Center it can't keep up with a HD broadcast, and drops frames often). For about $400 I get a good motherboad with optical audio out, 500GB hard drive, 4GB of memory, a dual-layer DVD writer and a video card which can feed HD into my TV. I have a WiFi card around, and have a spare license for Windows XP. Should be nice, the parts should be here Jan 6... :(

Of course, having a PC doesn't help much without a remote - I've been spending too much time trying to get a remote that came with a Sony PC to work - finding that it uses a completely proprietary configuration, nobody else in the world has made it work, and it generally causes some interesting problems with the rest of the system... I think that I have enough information to make the remote work under Linux now, but will need to modify some drivers to get things to behave.

I've been trying out different software packages under Windows and Linux on my current PC, trying to see what is able to do the things that we want (play DVDs, play stored videos and music, view and record live TV), and will probably setup the PC with GBPVR under Windows XP, also booting and running MythTV under Linux (Ubunto 8.10, to be exact...). Both give access to everything we need - MythTV is also able to get at videos on the web, so we would be able to watch all of the high-def shows that CBS, ABC, etc. are putting up. Eventually, I'll add in a Blueray drive, and maybe another tuner (or two)... Then we just need to do some work with importing old VHS tapes, cassette tapes, albums, etc, and everything will be available at the touch of a button....

Enough of me showing my geeky side... I'm sure there are some people who are interested in this, I promise that the next post will have cute kids and stuff like that - though those cute kids might be helping me assemble the PC. :)

How many calories?

2008-12-15T20:20:00.003-06:00

Last night our church had a potluck dinner to celebrate Christmas. After all the eating was done (way too much by yours truly) all the tables and chairs were cleared from the sanctuary, and kids started running in circles in the big open spaces.
After running for a few minutes, Kyle came up to me, puffing and hot from all the running and asked how many calories he had burned off. My answer "more than 10" didn't satisfy him - he wanted to know the actual number... So, I had to say "I don't know - you don't have a calorie counter on your forehead." Some of the other parents near by though that was immensely funny...

I don't like Las Vegas

2008-12-06T10:42:00.002-06:00

I finished up a week of meetings in Las Vegas, as part of some software standards activity that is part of my job. Mostly, these meetings involve spending a long day in a conference room, so I don't get to see much of whatever city we're in - except for the evenings which are usually open. Usually these are place I haven't been, so there is some exploring to do. I've been to Las Vegas before, though, so not as much to do that's new - not to mention the various other problems with the current marketing of the city. A few reasons that I especially don't like travel to Vegas:

1) The city is focused on separating you from your money, in lots of unbiblical ways. Gambling is everywhere. You have to walk through a casino to get from the hotel entrance to the elevators. I'm sitting in the airport right now, and there is a huge bank of slot machines 20 feet away. Shows are incredibly expensive - at least $50, for bad seats in a show with a 'nobody' - want to see Better Midler in good seats? Get ready to cough up $400 per person...

2) After gambling, sex seems to be the primary business. You can't walk down the street (at least 'The Strip" - Las Vegas Boulevard) without having a huge number of cards for 'girls' pushed at you. About half of the shows involve dancing girls, with or without all the normal clothing. Billboards and advertising trucks are everywhere hyping strip clubs. I'm not intereseting in this stuff, but would rather not have to see it constantly.

3) There are earthquakes here. Last night, about 8:18 there was an earthquake in Lowell California, which was felt in Vegas. I noticed it mostly from feeling the building swaying back and forth, about 4 inches or so based on seeing the curtains swinging. It felt generally like I was really dizzy. Not dangerous, but a little disturbing and I try to avoid earthquakes.

4) I'm away from my awesom family, and not in a place where I can have as much seeing new things...

That's enough of my rant. I'm on my way home, they've announced that the plane will be boarding in a few minutes, so I'm getting free of Sin City.

Still at Motorola

2008-11-01T09:29:00.003-05:00

This was a sorta tough week at work. Bad earnings came out, and management decided to cancel a bunch of projects and lay off around 2000 people. I am not one of the people laid off, though it looks like my projects have been killed. My team was pretty affected though, going from 11 to 5. Don't know what comes next - supposedly more announcements on reorganization will be coming up, and I'll figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. At least I still have a job.

Not sure whether I'm completely glad about escaping though - half of the people who worked for me are being laid off, and I had no notification about it, nor did I know until the end of the day, and knew who was 'safe'. Its tough to see people you've worked with for 3-5 years be let go...

What I learned from the debate

2008-10-08T06:27:00.003-05:00

Watching the debate last night (Oct. 7) the only thing that I really learned is that Barak Obama must be a prophet! He knew about the mortgage crisis 2 years ago! He know that Georgia (the country) was in danger from Russia last year! He told people and wrote papers about these!!!! He must be the second coming of Messiah!!! (OK - that one didn't come out in the debate, but listening to some Obama supporters there do seem to be some people who believe that.)

He must not have tried hard enough to make sure that people heard, though, because these things happened... Telling Washington insiders who helped make the mess that there is a mess isn't presidential caliber action. Raising up a grass-roots awareness of the problem and getting America involved in the solution is. (Neither candidate has done that though...)

The only thing that I really learned last night was that I'm not sure either of these two candidates really has a plan for resolving the problems that we face right now. I've said several times that any person who seeks public office should immediately be disqualified from that office. We need the right person in the presidency, not just the best person who happens to be running (and is electable, and popular with the people...).

(In case you missed the dripping sarcasm in the first paragraph, I haven't been converted, I'm still not voting for Obama...)

Why more credit???

2008-09-25T10:18:00.002-05:00

Time for me to get shallow, and probably expose how little I know of how finance works and the current economic mess...
It seems that much of the problem came on from banks providing loans to people who really didn't have the means to cover the loan, so that those people could buy houses that they really couldn't afford. The banks did this to get some income - they get interest and hope that the loan doesn't default (which leaves the bank with a house that it has to sell for probably less than the loan amount - causing the bank to lose money). The bank then sells those loans as securities to other people, so that the bank gets in more money that it can loan out. The people buying the loans expect to get income from the interest on the loans, at least, and maybe can sell the securities for more than the loans are worth (which seems stupid to me...).
So, the bank makes a loan, then gives away the income from the loan when it sells the loan. To keep making money, the bank has to get more loans which it can then sell. Essentially, the bank only keeps making money as long as (a) people keep making new loans and (b) they can sell the loans to investors.
So, things have broken down because people started defaulting on loans, making it a risky investment and the banks can't sell the loans anymore. I think that there is a somewhat deeper problem in this - that the whole business model is built on the bank always being able to make and sell more loans. There is a natural limitation in this - eventually we run out of people to loan money to. Even if the bank picks ever riskier people, there are only so many people in the USA, and I don't know about you, but there is a limit to how many loans I need (let alone want) to carry - I only have the mortgage right now and am working hard to save money for the next car so that I don't carry a loan for that. Another 10 years and I won't even have the mortgage.
So, a whole business is collapsing (namely the home mortgage market) because it became a silly and unsustainable business model - namely to make sure that we keep making new loans into infinity. I'm a little surprised that nobody really thought through the long-term business model. Sure, this model looks OK in the short term, but once the pool of people needing money dries up, so does the business. Seems to me that, while we need the government to bail out the banking system and shore up the loan based securities (so that people are willing to buy them again, and restore money to the market) there is a shocking lack of prosecution of the people who thought that this was a valid business model in the first place... I want to see (a) an assurance that banks are going to drop the stupid investment model, and just try to live off the interest on their loans and (b) some of the CEOs of companies following this model will get time in the clink...
So - enough ranting. I don't promise this is accurate, its just what I can see on the surface, and what doesn't seem to be showing up in any of the analysis that I see...

The joys of business travel

2008-09-20T03:42:00.003-05:00

This week I've been in Lisbon for a weeks worth of standards meetings with the MIPI alliance - a group establishing microprocessor interfaces (terribly geeky, nerdy stuff to most of you, I'm sure...). There are some good things and some annoying things about these trips (and this one in particular).

Good -

I get to see some new cities that I otherwise probably wouldn't for quite a while. The meetings don't take all day, so I get to spend a little bit of time looking around and playing tourist, and sometimes finding places I'd like to come back to with my family. Look here for some pictures I took in Lisbon.
I'm not paying for the trip
I get to keep lots of airline miles for making the trip
The work is generally interesting and exciting

Bad -

I'm away from my family, and never sleep as well when I'm not with my dear wife...
Most of the time is spent in meeting rooms - the inside of one conference room is pretty much like any other, so it isn't all that glamorous...
Lisbon does dinner like Spain - really late. Of course the meeting schedule is pretty much like a normal business day everywhere else - no time for a siesta in the afternoon. So I'm up at 6:30 to get ready for the meetings at 8:30, but awake until midnight getting dinner. I don't do well on 6 hours of sleep...
Europe especially has some jet-lag issues for me coming over, so I'm pretty much tired and messed up for most of the time that I'm here...

I have at least two more trips this year, but one will be within the US. Will I be interested in coming back to Lisbon? Probably not - the city, at least what I've seen, isn't all that interesting, and it doesn't feel particularly safe - more pickpocket problems than I've heard in other cities, and more of the businesses seem to be out to rip off the tourists.

If you're interested in seeing where I've been, I have an application on my Facebook page to show the cities I've been to, so become my friend and you can see the full list. I have been to a bunch of places...

You know somethings not right when...

2008-09-01T14:18:00.003-05:00

The ice tray in the freezer, which was full of ice cubes yesterday, is now full of water. And there is warm air blowing out of the vents in the freezer. And the refrigerator is getting warmer, even though it is running constantly.... We've been having some trouble with the freezer going through complete defrost/freeze cycles in the last months, but never trouble in the fridge - until today... Holidays are great days for things to go wrong, when they can't be quickly fixed...

So, we have a big cooler full of ice, and the former contents of the fridge, sitting in the kitchen. What was in the freezer was sent to the big chest freezer a while ago, and all we'd been trying to keep was ice... Of course, this couldn't fail in the winter, when we just put everything into the big fridge that the garage becomes...

All should be well again in a few days, depending on how quickly a repairman comes out, figure out what is broken, and gets the parts. (We already had one visit, where he cleaned the coils and said to check if things started working once all was clean...)

A little froggy

2008-08-27T21:43:00.002-05:00

I'm in the last stages of recovering from a good chest cold that I picked up from Kyle. I started coughing on Sunday the 17th, and have pretty much been coughing since then... Things are getting better, it always takes me a while to clear out my lungs after one of these. My voice is pretty much toast right now though - which makes it really fun when I'm on a conference call and have to do a lot of talking. Monday night I read to the kids, and had no voice after that...

At least I'm off the cough medicine. Now, just to get back into the bike-to-work routine (which isn't helped by the 50% chance of thunderstorms for tomorrow...).

What I did on my day off...

2008-08-06T20:43:00.006-05:00

Yesterday I took a vacation day (well, most of a day - I still had a conference call to do, but that overlapped with Elizabeths gymnastics practice, so I didn't hold us up) and we went to the Six Flags Great America theme park for a day of junk food and exciting rides. Everybody was big enough to go on at least one roller coaster (the Whizzer), and lots of other rides. The picture above was us almost up to the loading area for the Whizzer - don't the kids all look so excited?!

The excitement got to be a little too much for John - he fell asleep in the wagon while we were waiting for Momma and Jessi to ride the Demon (a looping coaster). There are actually a lot of rides for kids 42 inches and up, and Kyle, Elizabeth and Jessi are all in that range, so they could do some pretty cool things.

We also found lots of walk-around characters. Jessi wanted pictures with everyone she saw - Wags the Dog, Catwoman, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Sylvester. Kyle finally overcame his shyness and went to hug Sylvester. Sylvester even came over to get John involved, making a special point to come to him and get him laughing.

I think that everybody had tons of fun - we didn't get much whining until we were ready to leave - around 8:30 at night (well past everybody's bedtime).

The music isn't that dead...

2008-07-31T15:05:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure now how close my iPod is to death. I think that most of the sync issues (and the iPod being wiped clean) were caused by having my phone plugged in at the same time, iTunes seems to get confused and writes enough to the iPod to erase the library file, but tries to write the new library to the phone (which doesn't work). As long as the phone isn't plugged in, things seem to sync OK this week. (I know over the weekend though that I did a number of syncs without the phone plugged into the PC, and the iPod was still corrupted...).

However, as I'm listening to music I'm hearing all sorts of bad glitches... The music generally plays, but there are noticeable audio dropouts and clicks in almost everything I listen to. When I check the same files on the PC, they are OK - so there does seem to be some ongoing hard disk problems...

I could say that I've been through a rollercoaster of emotions this week - thinking that my music player was kaput, then its back, then back to somewhere in the middle... I'm not that attached to the thing though - I do need the music to be productive at work - things seem empty without music while I'm typing. However, in the big scheme of things, my family is a lot more important than a silly piece of glass and plastic, so I'm not exactly shedding tears over the thing...

A day at the fair

2008-07-27T20:32:00.004-05:00

We went to the Lake County Fair today. The kids, of course, wanted to go on the rides, and once we said that that was enough rides, there was much wailing (and maybe some gnashing of teeth). They would have been happy to only do all the rides. (The consolation that was offered was that we plan to go to Six Flags next week, and they can do all the rides their little stomachs can handle...).

Along with the midway was Fair Food -in this case elephant ears. (A bunch of batter dropped into boiling oil to cook, then coated with powdered sugar). Here's John with a good coating of powdered sugar...He had sugar on his shirt, his face, in his hair... Good things its Bath Night!

The Day the Music Died...

2008-07-26T07:03:00.004-05:00

I am in semi-mourning... My 30GB iPod is on its last legs, dying quietly (pun intended) after only 18 months... I've started getting errors that iTunes can't read the contents of the iPod, but those only happened when I also had my phone connected to the PC, and I figured that iTunes was getting confused about driver letters. Now, the errors come every time, and the iPod has an annoying habit of coming up completely blank (no music) after finishing a 3+ hour sync (there is almost 30G of music to load, after all...). Looks like the hard drive is failing, which isn't too surprising considering all that the little box has been through. I'm still hopeful that I can get it to behave a bit more, but after 3 days it doesn't look good - something is broken. Yesterday it was really hard to get work done without some music to listen to...

So - how do I keep up with podcasts, carry around enough music to listen to, and not bust the budget (which won't easily support a replacement - not with end-of-the-month bills all due in the next week)? I'm going to try downsizing my 'carry along' music and using my Motorola Q smartphone to fill the role of music player. I have a podcast manager/player (beyondpod - available at http://www.codeplex.com/beyondpod) already loaded, which will directly pull podcasts onto the phone (no more syncing!). There is already a media player on the phone, and being a Windows Mobile based product, Windows Media Player on my PC knows how to manage the file store. Just a little problem with space.... I found a great deal on an 8GB flash memory card for the phone on Amazon.com - $37 including shipping (compared to Best Buy wanting $149.99 for the same thing).

I'll just have to work out what music to load in, I can't load everything anymore... (That was why I had the 30G iPod - I can carry my entire music collection, and am likely to always have what I'm in the mood for...) I think that with 8GB I can carry enough styles of music to manage, but it will take more work to keep things fresh and updated... We'll see how things work out, there's always Christmas coming up in 5 months!

More on being a troll

2008-07-17T07:36:00.002-05:00

I said earlier that my 'troll' title comes from an interpretation of my last name. For people familiar with the troll dolls (with the wild hair) that came out in the 80's, and people who know me, that type of troll also can apply. My hair is just long enough now to have major bed-head in the morning, sticking straight up like one of those troll dolls (but without the wild neon colors...). It may not be as long as the troll dolls, but still the way it sticks up does remind people of those dolls... (and the trolls as drawn by Jan Brett).

Travel thoughts

2008-07-12T08:15:00.002-05:00

I read a great travel quote yesterday - "I love to travel, its the arriving that I hate." - attributed to Albert Einstein. That almost summarizes my thoughts toward travel. I travel a bunch for business, 11 trips last year, probably only 5-6 this year. That combined with personal travel (mostly by car) comes up to around 25% of the time that I'm not around. Looking at my stats on flightmemory.com, I have entered in 185 flight segments, for over 500,000 miles - and that's just the trips I have information for, starting around 2002. I have plenty of trips before that. I've earned 1K status on United (flew >100,000 miles last year, as they measure), which comes in useful on family trips when things go wrong.

I look forward to each trip, getting into the planning, checking what movies will be on the flights, finding out about the airports and cities I'll be going to, how to get to the hotel, etc. Flights can be annoying, but kind of fun too - I really like flying. Being at the destination, though for me is different than the quote above - I'm already looking forward to the return trip.
The big disadvantage for me is that on business trips I tend to be alone, and I really hate to go into a restaurant alone, and eat alone, with nothing to do but look at the other patrons in the restaurant. Since much of my travel goes outside the US, I also get to play 'the ugly American', since I can only order and converse in English. (Not that I haven't tried picking up some basics in other languages, but I've traveled to Copenhagen, Prague, Hong Kong, Amsterdam, Brussels, Munich, Beijing and will be going to Lisbon - that's a lot of languages...)

So, I really look forward to traveling, but am not really happy at the destination, the trip is more about getting there than the destination.

Are lightning bugs scared by lightning?

2008-07-11T18:58:00.001-05:00

Driving home last night with all of us in the car, there was a pretty impressive lightning storm in the distance, with some awesome ligtning. One of the kids asked if lightning bugs got scared of the lightning. My answer was to pretend to be a lightning bug (in a high buggy voice) -

"Pretty flashing lightning, you look like just my type. I think I love you. I light my butt to show that I love you." (with appropriate behind wagging).

The kids thought that was hilarious, and we've had a lot of "I light my butt for you" since then.

Boys and dirt go together

2008-07-10T10:19:00.002-05:00

One of the fun things about having boys is being reminded of all the ways that one can get dirty. Last night, out for a walk in the neighborhood with the boys, I stopped to talk with a neighbor. The boys, not exactly keen on being part of the conversation, started a wide ranging "Star wars" play, using sticks as light-sabers. Seeing them all the time, I really just focused on seeing that they weren't getting too wild, and hurting themselves (or anything else). In the course of the activity, they found an area of new dirt and mulch nearby, and since sword play involves falling down when hit, they were basically rolling in the dirt. I didn't notice this until it was time to go home - their arms and legs were gray! They had a lot of fun outside, ran off a lot of energy, and showed that they are true boys, with an affinity for finding dirt even where I wouldn't think it possible.

Are we what we search?

2008-07-03T08:44:00.004-05:00

Reading on MSNBC.com (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25509046/) about a case using the types of searches as a defense - namely, that what the people in the area search for reflects the morals of the people in that area. In the case, they showed far more searches for pornography than for 'America' or 'apple pie'.

Not sure that is a valid defense - namely, there are a few points that the article points out. We don't know why the search term was entered, is it out of curiosity, or some less ideal desire? One point that occurred to me that isn't mentioned is that the relative scarcity of a search term, especially something that is as common or well known as apple-pie, doesn't reflect that people aren't interested in that object, but may reflect that people already know about the object and don't have to search for more information... So, the popularity of search terms doesn't really reflect accurately all the interests of the community doing the searches, since interests that are well known by the community will be under-represented.

Another case of garbage-in->garbage-out data. Not all of the data is going into the study for the defense, so an anomalous garbage conclusion is reached.

Disqualified by Desire

2008-06-19T21:09:00.004-05:00

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

In seeking to follow and serve God, we must always be seeking to know what God wants us to do, and not what we want to do for God. This is similar to my last post - that having the desire to do something for God, and feeling qualified to do it (meaning that I feel qualified in my strength to do the thing) disqualifies me somewhat from being able to serve God in that way. If I feel qualified to do something, I tend to seek to do that thing in my own strength - having pride to be able to serve God in that way. In doing this I take my view off God and place it on myself, removing myself from the place where I can hear God and his leading. (And I see this in my life - those areas where I feel the most qualified, I feel God in the least, since 'I don't need Him there'.)

I may plan to do great things, to use my talents and abilities to reach people for Jesus, but God cannot work through that - he can work best through my weaknesses. A few examples:

I am a member of the worship band in my church, and have been doing this for about 9 years or so. I am not the best musician, but able to do my part. When I started, though, I came in with certainty of my ability, and a leading from God that this was what I should do. I was quickly humbled - brought to see that I needed to learn much in order to be a part of this group of musicians. I brought all that I had (little) as an offering - allowing God to work through my uncertainty and weakness. When I have been the least confident of being able to play a song, is when I am most able to feel God there with me, and His pleasure. Now, as I have more practice under my belt, I have to admit that I don't feel the same closeness during worship that I did at first.

At one time I lead a small group in the church - a group of families and people who met in our house for bible study and prayer. This is something that I did not feel capable of doing when first asked. I did agree to lead (eventually), knowing that I would have to lean on God to accomplish anything in the group - I didn't feel qualified to lead a study and teach others, I really don't like to pray, and generally am not someone who is energized in groups and discussions. However, during the two years that I led the group we managed to grow in size, and to develop good relationships and I think grow closer to God. That was God's doing - I only followed Him, and allowed Him to do work in the group. If I had felt qualified however, and didn't lean on God and wait to hear from Jim, and let Him speak through me, I'm sure that the group would not have lasted even one year.

I cannot stay out of sin on my own power. What I can do, however, is keep myself close to Jesus, where I can clearly hear Him speaking to me, and to be so captivated by that presence that nothing else can tempt me. If only I could do that - to hear so clearly!!! That closeness of relationship with Christ, where I seek only Him, is something that I do desire so much, and which is truly a desire granted from God.

Now, if only we could apply these principles to politics - that any person who wants the job of President of the US should immediately be disqualified from running for the office. I am a bit bothered that we never seem to get the best person for the job (looking at it even with one of the parties - John McCain is not the best Republican for the office) - only the most electable, the best of those that are willing to run.

Does Religion == Stupid?

2008-06-12T19:08:00.004-05:00

So, going through my news this morning I find this post on The Register : "God makes you stupid, researchers claim". The basic premise of the research is a 'casual' link that intelligent people are less likely to believe in God (or that less intelligent people are more likely to believe in God). This is based on the low percentage of academics who believe in God.

I have to say that, as a born-again Christian, I have some problems with this. I feel that I qualify as an intelligent person - Masters degree in engineering, successful career, multiple patents to my name - not exactly a poor half-wit seeking solace in religion. The question that I bring up is whether or not the study which is referenced actually is drawing out the right conclusion about the cause of the link. I will admit that few people in academia (university settings) seem to profess a believe in God (or any other supreme being - pick your religion...) - and that those who do have religious beliefs seem to be looked down on (see Expelled as a case that religious seeming thoughts are not tolerated very well). But, is it really that case that religion is only satisfying to those who are less intelligent - that smarter people are able to see beyond the 'mumbo-jumbo' and think for themselves?

Looking from the other side of the fence - as an intelligent person who firmly believes in God and Jesus Christ as my Savior - I see something different underlying the link. Intelligent people, especially the people who are in Academia, tend to rely more on their own abilities to solve problems and see through. They become proud of their intelligence and self-reliance - they do not need other people, and especially do not need God. Jesus said in John 6:44 - "No one can come to be unless the Father who sent me draws him" - that only through the work of God can we understand and see the wonder of Him. In John 6:65 Jesus says "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him".

Maybe it is rather that the more intelligent people, those who are proud in their abilities and have no need of God, have so offended God that he does not enable them to see Him? Their sinful pride blocks their ability to truly experience God - just as the Pharisees were blocked from truly seeing God (and his Son). When we are self-reliant, God has no place in our lives, and is not able to work through us - he leaves us alone. That is a true tragedy, for there will come a day when God will judge all men, and those who know him (and his Son) not will suffer in eternity.

Don't take this as another rant from a religious nut-case, as I said (and hopefully you'll see in later posts) I consider myself quite intelligent - an engineer familiar with how things in this world work. This intelligence, with God's enablement, allowed me to see the emptiness in a humanistic view of the world, a world without God, where we are only the by-product of primordial ooze. While in a place of doubting what the world has to offer, and my own value, I was introduced to the living Christ, and met Him truly. I attend a church which has many Mensa members and professors in attendance - surely we are not deluded into religion, but have entered into it with careful consideration, seeking a relationship with a living Person, and not just solace or an explanation for things we cannot understand.

The moral is to be careful of the assumptions that are placed onto research. Even if a connection between two things can be proven, the cause of the connection may not be what you expect. Here, maybe the intelligence isn't the source of the connection, but the pride associated with it.

In the beginning

2008-06-11T13:11:00.000-05:00

OK - not such a great and creative title, but this is the first post, isn't it? What else should I call the first post? And anyway, I'm only promising shallow thoughts - not quite up to the '42' standard that Deep Thought could answer, maybe only 40... I'm not claiming to be an all-knowing, have all the answers to the worlds problems, and this blog isn't going to solve anybodys problems. I'm just looking for a place to share some of my views and thoughts on the world. Expect things to be pretty eclectic and all over the place.

Why a Troll? This comes from what might be a misrepresentation of the translation of my last name - which can be translated as bridgetender. Thinking of the troll in the 3 billy-goats-gruff story as a bridgetender leads to the thought that I can call myself a troll.

Lets see where we go next, shall we?